The sad news of the man who ran out of his car and jumped into the Lagos lagoon has been all over the internet. It’s an unfortunate incident but one thing I have come to know is that being suicidal does not just jump at someone. It takes a process except maybe the witches from your village have gotten you (that was a comic digression).

When thought and worry get to the point of hopelessness, suicide comes next. An old Yoruba adage says ‘when there is life, there is hope’ but I disagree. I am of the opinion that when there is hope, there is life.

Hope is that path filled with some possibility of fulfilment. It is what expectations are centred on. For many people today, irrespective of their wealth status, hope is the only thing keeping them alive.

I’ve heard someone say hope is not a performance and weakens people’s resolve to go the extra mile. Though that is true to some extent, I still think of hope as the only thing some people have and it should not be taken away from them because when that singular thing, which is keeping them alive is gone, suicide is inevitable.

If you are currently going through any challenge, it is good to speak to God but please speak out. Don’t go through it alone. Get a support group to unburden your mind to. They may not fully understand what’s going on in your mind but speaking alone is a step to a lasting solution.

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Talk to a counsellor, coach, therapist, doctor, psychologist, neuroscientist or nurse. Talk to anyone at all who can help you not someone who will turn it to gossip.

Understand the things outside your control. While it is good to set standards for yourself, make sure you are not trying to be perfect. When your standard looks like perfection, achieving it becomes a pipe dream and that will lead to depression.

See,  depression is real but suicide is realer.

Please rest, play, hangout, don’t stay isolated, enjoy life while you are looking at eternity, catch fun, stay where you are loved, make friends, get people to pay for your values, stay happy always, be positive in your thought, don’t worry about anything-it solves no problem and stay out of debt.

See, if you don’t have it now, you don’t need it. What you have is enough to live life.

Live your life without apologies. Go to where you are celebrated. If you make a mistake, own it. If you are judged by those around you for the mistake, walk away; stay with those who will help you through that mistake without condemning or judging you. If you have done your best and it’s still not working, don’t stress it. Please take a rest.

Many times, we teach that people shouldn’t quit but hey, there’s nothing wrong in giving up the battle to win a war. It doesn’t make sense to sacrifice all your soldiers in a battle. You can quit the battle and win your life. The most important thing is to not give up on life.

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Daily, before going to bed, look out for irrational attitudes, moodiness, sadness and  hopelessness about the future, mood swings, unnecessary banter, sleep problems, bitterness, anger, uncontrolled rage, feeling of inadequacy, battered esteem, and many more.

If you are experiencing any of these and can’t figure out why, please talk to a friend, look for a support group, look for what makes you happy and gives you a deep level of pleasure. Do it. Hangout with friends who will encourage and motivate you.

If you are one of those who go about ‘gossiping’ what someone shares with you in secret, please shut up. Hope may be the only thing a person has, don’t be the reason he loses hope for life.

Matthew Femi-Adedoyin



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